Fear and Loathing in Satan City
by bronner
Summary: This story takes place in an alternate reality where Future Trunks killed Cell during the Cell Games, causing Vegeta to lose his pride, gain weight and become a stay at home dad. It starts around the time of the Boo Saga, and centers around Vegeta...
1. Chapter 1

Vegeta woke up around sixteen, some new song he hated blasting on the radio.  
Bulma was probably in the lab, as she definitely wasn't in bed anymore. Slowly  
and painfully, he got out of bed, walked over to the dresser and picked up a bottle  
of 'Shower in a Can,' which he quickly sprayed on and then threw on a faded pink  
Capsule Corp t-shirt and a pair of ripped blue-jeans. Walking out of the room, he  
descended the stairs to family room where he found Trunks and 'Mini-Kakkarot,'  
playing some video-game. "Trunks, is it really sixteen, already?" He asked, softly.  
Trunks spun around, startled. "Oh, Dad, you're up?!" Goten looked at Vegeta, he  
didn't know him very well. "Hey Mister Veggie!" Vegeta winced at that nickname, if  
he'd had an ounce of pride left in his body (which he destroyed with snack-cakes)  
he'd smack that stupid son of Kakkarot so hard, he'd fly all the way to West City. But  
he didn't. "Hey, Goten." Vegeta replied, with a sense of almost regretful irony in his  
voice. Then he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of Awesome  
Marshmallow Fun-Time cereal, poured about four heaping tablespoons of sugar on  
it before drowning it in whole milk then eating it in seven scoops. Never before had  
he felt such a sense of fear and loathing, even when he was in the presence of  
Freeza back in the day. He finished his cereal and the dish-bot came and took away  
his bowl. Vegeta got up and took the car keys off the hanging-thing and walked to his  
vehicle in the massive, twenty-car garage down in the sub-levels of the house. He had  
to decide which car he was going to drive to the mall, today. Would he take the fast one,  
the big one, or the red one? He sighed and got in the small car, it was the only one that  
was fully charged. Squeezing his fat ass in the car, he immediately hit his knee on the  
steering wheel. "Damn, baka, always putting the seat forward...if I could still fly I wouldn't  
have to take this damnable human car..." Vegeta muttered to himself as he put the seat  
back and adjusted everything for a Saiyan of plump proportions. Then he took off, the  
garage bay was open and he just flew out into the sky-way, the tiny, girly car whirring  
like something from a cartoon. Of course, the sky-way was jammed, it was almost seventeen  
on a Tuesday, everyone wanted to get home to their families or something, he couldn't empathize  
why. Finally, after sitting in traffic for like, a half hour, he was at the mall. Parking the vehicle  
in a tight spot, he got out and slowly made it to the entrance of the big department store,  
"Akira's." As he walked in, he was greeted to muzak and several types of women's clothing  
all around. But he wanted to go to the electronics store and pick up some stuff for a project  
he was working on. It was near the bookstore when he encountered someone he'd not seen in years...


	2. Chapter 2

It was Chi-Chi! Kakkarot's crazy wife. He tried to walk past her, but she somehow  
recognized him instantly. "Vegeta! Hey!" He stopped dead and turned around, walking  
slowly back to the bookstore. "Oh, hi, Chi-Chi..." He started. "Wow, Vegeta, I haven't seen  
you since, wow, since the Cell-Games! Goten's always over at your place with Trunks,  
but, wow!" Vegeta nodded and looked around nervously. "I like the chin thing, you have  
going on." She was referring to the thick soul patch he'd grown to distract people of his  
double-chin. "Uh, thanks." Chi-Chi put down the book she was looking at, "Wow, this is  
great, do you want to go get lunch?" Vegeta looked around again, nervous as ever. "Sure."  
He had no choice. Fifteen minutes later they were at the food-court (it's a big mall) ordering  
a meal. "I'll just have a some white rice and a glass of water," Chi-Chi said to the kid behind  
the counter. "Okay, and you, sir?" The kid looked at Vegeta, who wasn't really paying attention.  
"Huh? Oh. The uh, the extra-large sushi-meal, with a Sake." The kid put their food on a tray  
and gave it to Vegeta, who paid for it and walked it over to a table. Chi-Chi sat down next to  
him, and started up the conversation. "It is so good to see you. Since Trunks killed Cell and  
went back to the future, I've had nobody to talk to but Gohan and Goten." Vegeta did not know  
where this was going. "Yeah, well, that's my boy. He showed that Cell who's boss, right?"  
Chi-Chi giggled. Vegeta kept glancing around the vicinity of the area, more and more fearfully.  
"It's been really, really lonely without Goku." She said. "Yeah, I miss Kakkarot, too." He said,  
not really paying attention, again. "I haven't had a man in the house in seven years, you know."  
The tone of her voice getting increasingly sultry, but Vegeta didn't notice, he was chowing down  
on the sushi and chugging the pitcher of Sake. "Mm-hmm." He said through the chewing of food.  
Chi-Chi scooted towards him. He started sweating out of fear. "Um...hello." He said, "Hi." Chi-Chi  
said, seductively. She stared into his eyes for five minutes, he just kept eating, but he didn't take  
his eyes off her, out of fear of hurting her feelings. This went on for what seemed like forever.  
Finally he finished the food, then noticed she hadn't touched hers. "Are you going to eat that?"  
He asked. "Uh-uh." He quickly grabbed it and downed it. "Well, it was nice talking to ya, I gotta  
go find some stuff, though and..." She interrupted him, putting her finger over his lips. Vegeta  
glanced around again, now he knew what was up. This was either a very, very good thing,  
or a very, very bad thing. Either way, it wasn't going to end well. She leaned in and started  
making out with him. The only thought going through his mind, "Oh god," over and over again.  
"Come back to my place and make love to me," She said. "Oh, okay." He said.


End file.
